vineri, 25 iunie 2010

healing my soul...

the other day i read something that made me burst into was something like this: I don't love you because of who you are...I love you because of the way u make me feel when I am next to you...
maybe i should start writing down my memories...not talking about feelings, not pretending to know everything about life, pain, love or all the other cheezy stuff...cause i am not a cheezy person...sometimes i think i am too realistic, too down to earth...sometimes i dream too much about stuff that i know i can hardly make come true...
i started reading blogs of some people...infamous...people that no one knows...what the fuck is the difference??? i can't understand why celebrities are treated with more respect then all the other persons that are putting down their souls on this page??? why their pages have thousands of visitors, while our pages are rarely read...celebrity is overrated, i respect all the little things that we...normal guys ...put down, because we really write what we feel, what hurts us or what makes us happy...we talk about the world...the real hard is for us to survive, to go on when everything around us sometimes falls apart....
today i am healing my soul...the entire process is slow and is burning me inside out, it consumes me, but i gotta purify it, i gotta clean it, i gotta get everything out in order to start living again...
nothing is the way it was before...everything around me seems change, i perceive all the noises, the images, the words in a different way...i am sure that i grew mind and my soul are not like 4-5 months ago...they got old
sometimes i feel too tired to even breathe, to raise my head and look into the eyes of those who try to talk to me...and i just wonder...what is the point???
i wish i knew who are those lying and who are those who really care about me, who are those whom when i cry really suffer and when i smile, that smile makes a difference in their lives...who are those who think about me when they first wake up in the morning and who are those that don't give a fuck...
sometimes i wish i really was as evil as i show myself in front of the others...sometimes i wish my mask became my real figure...sometimes i wish the glitter in my eyes disappeared so no one would stop and stare
sometimes i wish the first thing i wrote on this post was true...maybe someday respect will win over pride, tolerance and acceptance will rule the world...and i will stand still and watch everyone move on...healing my soul...following them after a while...

2 comentarii:

  1. loving your honesty - and the acceptance that not everything is in your control. i've told you many times, you can count on me - Kev xx

  2. stay the way you are bb,.. nice thing you wrote..
    ppl like celebrs,.. would find them selfs later in the lowest level they never been befor.

    Being your, is the thing what realy matters.
    if i should say things about my life,.. i needed 2 a 3 more pages..
    sometimes, ppl are to hard to understand,.. doesnt care for anything, only them selfs,..
    we need some self respect to stand on the world,.. that doesnt say they are the best,..

    I know, much ppl like you,.. on the way they know you.
    even on special ways.
    sometimes we got lucky,.. sometimes we dont.
    it needs some time, to realise what we did,.. or what went wrong,.. it's a learning procces.. and some 1 like me is here to help you, who gonna show you that not every 1 is like all those Bad asses.

    not knowing you for long,.. doesnt matter. but that time will come,.. dont overhaste,.. thats the best way to get close friends,.. " A friend is some one who knows everything about you and still like you " trust me,.. if you want it.. Im here for you also. imi place de tine xx

    Ps: you probaby know who i am. " schat "